Per the advice of a dear, sweet friend, I've decided to start a blog just with quotes from my children. Because they're hilarious most days; sometimes over the top witty and insightful; other days they'll humble you; and you all should get to enjoy it too, if you so wish.
So I will start this off with a few good quotes I have written down this past year, and then take off from there - maybe hopefully ambitiously daily. We shall see.
January:
H: I love you forever. I like you for always, as long as my mommy you'll be.
H: I'm freaking out, Papa!
H: Mommy, I am just growing up way too fast!
H: I need to go to Aruba. The iguanas need me.
H: I'm freaking out okay? I just need some time!
After B turned off her movie.
H: Oh, no! He turned off my movie! How will I ever watch it? I just can't believe it!
February
Me: What's for dinner?
B: Pez!
H: We want salmon or cod, please.
March
H: Right now, I'm too smart.
H: Mommy, can I help you make dinner?
Me: Sure. What do you want to make?
H: I can just help you order pizza.
April
Me: Ahhh! Duckie, do not pee on my floor!!
H: Mommy, he is just a baby. Your expectations are too high. He will pee on the pad on his own when he's ready.
H walks into a room where B is butt naked telling the dog good night.
H: Have a little modesty, B, just have a little modesty.
H: Mommy, in case you didn't know, I'm a queen. Not a princess. Queens are really smart AND pretty. But princesses only know how to look pretty.
H: Me and Papa both start with "p."
Me: You don't start with "p." You know that.
H: Uh-huh. P-p-Papa. P-p-perfect.
May
H: My baby [doll] is hitting and she just won't stop! I keep telling her "gentle hands" but she keeps doing it!
Me: Hm, that's really tough. I used to do that with you. And I do it with B a *lot*.
H: patience is hard!
Me: It is indeed.
H: (walking away)Gentle hands, baby. Gentle. What if we use our hands to hug? I sure do love you!
June
Me: H, I got you blueberry yoghurt.
H: No! We all ready have blueberries!!
Me: Okay?
H: Blueberry yoghurt and blueberries? How many blueberries am I supposed to eat?!
Me: It's fine, babe. You don't have to eat it.
H: No, I have to eat it! I love it! It's my favorite!!
H: My baby just fucked me up!
H: Are we going to see Ariel and Mickey Mouse today?
Me: We are not going until Wednesday.
H: I don't know when that is.
Me: 2 more days.
H: Can we just count really fast?
September
H: Mom, can you find me a hooker? I really need a hooker.
Me: you are such a beautiful girl. You have a beautiful brain and a beautiful heart and a beautiful face.
H: But the two most important are my beautiful brain and my beautiful heart.
August
B taking his first poop on the potty, pounding his chest while shouting, "I am man!"
October
H: Momma, how does your heart pump blood for your whole body AND make milk for me and Lio? That's pretty incredible.
H: Are you disappointed in me?
Me: A little. I asked you to pick up your art stuff and you said ok. But instead you went and monkeyed around in the bathroom.
H: That was a terrible choice.
Me: We all make poor decisions sometimes. How about we clean up this mess so we can get going?
H: You make *really* good choices, Mom! You know what you're talking about sometimes.
H: (After watching a tantruming boy get a spanking in the mall) Oh my goodness, Momma! Did you see that? Why would that mommy ever hit that boy!?
Me: Well, sometimes mommies don't know how to handle their emotions very well and so they have tantrums right along with their kids, which sometimes includes hitting them.
H: Oh no! We should tell them that it's never okay to hit people! Why would anyone ever think that's okay?
Me: I can see you're having a really hard time today. Maybe we should go to the children's museum on a different day when you're in a better mood.
H: (dead serious) I think that's a terrible idea. I can actually be very respectful. Let me try that instead.
Driving through campus
H: Momma, why do all these peoples have backpacks?
Me: Well, because IU is a university. It's a school for adults.
H: You went to IU. Before I was born.
Me: I did. You were in my tummy for my last semester.
H: Then I came out and you were my mom. That was better than school.
Me: For me, being your mom is way better than school. And so much more fun!
H: Well, of course. I'm pretty fun.
No comments:
Post a Comment