If I had a hooker...

After Baby C pulled on his hair
B: No hurt me, baby. Baby, please don't pull my hair. Dank you!

H: If I had a hooker I could put one dress on it.

Me: Oh, don't eat your boogies. It'll hurt your tum-tum.
H: I can eat just one and I'll be fine.
Me: I'm not sure about that. Mocos isn't made to be in your pansita.
H: No no, Momma, I've all ready tried. I can eat just one and I'm fine.

Me: B, I love you so much. I could just eat you up.
B: No say that, Momma. Eat chicken.

B, naked, was hanging on the very "on" oven door.
H: You're going to burn your penis right off.

Me: Oh, man, it's broken.
H: Say, Mom. It's okay. You can fix it.
Me: No, I can't. I don't have the other piece.
H: Well, we'll find it. We'll be hunters.