Me: You cannot hit me. Or anyone else. It hurts.
B: Oh, Mommy. Papa will be so fuss-tated [frustrated] wif you!
H (first thing in the morning): Momma, my pull-up is dry! My pull-up is dry!
Me: That's awesome!
H: Do you know what this means!?
Me: That your pull-up is dry?
H: That I didn't pee at night. At all. Not even a little bit. My pull-up is dry!
H: You have a baby in your belly. It's really round.
Me: Nope. No baby. Just belly.
H: Do I have to write a thank-you card for every gift someone gives me.
Me: Yes. Yes, you do. It's the proper thing to do.
H: For the rest of my life?
Me: Yes, for the rest of your life.
H: Oh, man.
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