Sauce and Green Stuff

B: We need the sauce!
Me: I agree! But you're too little and I shouldn't have it alone.
H: Are you making a joke?

B (after asking if he could pray before we ate): What I dos now?
Me: You just say thank you for this food.
B: Thank you for the green stuff....oh, man!

H: Momma, can we get a cakepop?
Me: You haven't had dinner yet. Don't you think we should do that first?
H: Momma...I'm really sad. I miss Papa. A cakepop will make me feel better.
Me: Honey, I know you miss Papa. But you shouldn't eat your feelings. That's not a healthy habit.
H: If it's a cakepop it is.

Fuss-tated and thank-yous

Me: You cannot hit me. Or anyone else. It hurts.
B: Oh, Mommy. Papa will be so fuss-tated [frustrated] wif you!

H (first thing in the morning): Momma, my pull-up is dry! My pull-up is dry!
Me: That's awesome!
H: Do you know what this means!?
Me: That your pull-up is dry?
H: That I didn't pee at night. At all. Not even a little bit. My pull-up is dry!

H: You have a baby in your belly. It's really round.
Me: Nope. No baby. Just belly.

H: Do I have to write a thank-you card for every gift someone gives me.
Me: Yes. Yes, you do. It's the proper thing to do.
H: For the rest of my life?
Me: Yes, for the rest of your life.
H: Oh, man.

Pirates and Hairbrushes

H: Look, I have a Rapunzel pull-up.
B: Oh, great! Like my movie.

B: Look at all the pirates!
Me: They're sailors, not pirates.
B: Dey are on a ship. Dey pirates!

H: Where's my hairbrush? I can smell it, but I can't see it.

H (after receiving her ashes): Look! God is on my head!