Dates and Genitalia

Me: Goodness, that was a big cough.
B: Thank you!

J: Hey, B, can you pick this up, please?
B: Well, I just can't.

H: Why are you writing G's mom a card?
Me: Because she pushed a baby out of her vagina.
B: Ooooh. That her hurt 'gina!

H: I'm going on a date.
Me: There will be no kissing on this date.
H: Oh yes there will be! I'm just going on a date with Papa!

H: Momma, I want to go to preschool.
Me: Really? Okay, we can talk about that. It wouldn't be until next year though.
H: Yeah, I want to go to L's preschool.
Me: Okay.
H: (after a few moments): Can we still go to the children's museum if I'm in preschool?
Me: Of course, it just wouldn't be for quite as long since you'll be in preschool in the mornings.
H: (after a very long dead silence) I was just kidding. I don't really want to go to school.

B: My penis cold. Carry me, please.